Emotional Roller Coaster

The last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, and now I am morning my beautiful boy Zac. I have been struggling to find the words to express this loss and all the emotions. It has taken me a while write these words down to post this. Last week I was already feeling emotional due to a show I love coming to an end. I had formed an attachment with the show and seeing everyone posting about it ended, made me emotional. See my Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. appreciation post.

My Boy Zac

On Thursday last week, a week ago, my poor boy Zac got really sick. He was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do to help him. He was taken to visit the vet and we were given the sad news. There was nothing they could do to help him and we were advised that the best option was to have him put to sleep.

I’m very thankful that I was able to go down to the vet and say my goodbyes. I wanted so much to take him in my arms and cuddle him tight and never let him go. The poor thing was in so much pain that I couldn’t even pick him up without him screaming in pain. I couldn’t do that to him, what I could do was to hold and comfort him as he peacefully went to sleep. I’ve never been there and felt that moment when life has left a body, it’s such a surreal feeling. I just hope that I was able to bring him comfort and that he knew I was there with him. I just could not let him suffer any longer. Once he was gone I asked the vet if I could cuddle him, so I sat there with him in my arms as I said my farewell.

Losing you

I have lost pets in the past, but nothing has ever hurt as much as this does. I could be because these are the first pet I have had since they were babies. Maybe it’s because they sleep in my bed with me and there’ve been my constant companions since working from home. The loss of a pet can hit us even more than a person sometimes, they bring us so much joy and comfort.

I owe both Zac and Izzy a lot, in the strange times of 2020 they have both been my constant companions. I’m trying to be strong for my girl Izzy, she has never been apart from her brother before. She has been doing well though, I can tell she misses him, but she knows I’m struggling too. She was never the really cuddly cat, it was always Zac, but she has taken on that mantle and I love her for it. I still have my moments of weakness, I have cried at least once every day since we said goodbye. Life is different with Zac but we are managing.

Rest in Peace Zac
01/11/2016 – 13/08/2020

Farewell Tribute to Zac

I’ve really been struggling with this loss. To help myself cope and to help me remember all the good times. I have created this sweet farewell video. I realised we make videos and slideshows for funerals, maybe it would help me to do the same for Zac. And it has, I still miss him and I still cry every day but sometimes I laugh too. I will love this fluffy little boofhead forever, there is a special place in my heart just for him and that will never change.

Rest in Peace, my beautiful boy.